My first Vision Board was made with my 13yr old (read post HERE), the second Vision Board was made with my 9yr old (read post HERE) Both of these vision boards are different but have provided the opportunity to equally valuable outcomes!

So, with a ‘one in all in’ attitude, of course I said “YES” to my 5yr old when he asked if he too could make his very own Vision Board.

Mr 5 working on his own Vision Board

I know the concept may seem a little too advanced for such a young soul, but it is easy to adapt. I simply broke the project down and had him think about three different points.

1. To choose an over all attitude to apply to everything he does.

“I will be happy” is what he came up with – even as young as 5 years, it is not too early to learn that this is a choice in thought!
(I have actually done a lot of work on this choice to be happy, you can read another activity I have done with him HERE)

I will be happy!

2. Think about things is he likely to experience this year, that may be new, exciting or different, to focus on them so they don’t seem so scary or unknown!

“I will make friends” is one that he chose.

Mr 5 is in a whole new class at school without any of his little friends from kinder. There are a couple of kids who he is familiar with (having attended the same kinder) but not his little buddies.  It was great for him to recognise this as being something different, and we talked about the kinds of things he could do to meet new friends. Asking their names, asking what they like to do, if they have brothers…to find a topic that he can relate to.

I will make new friends

3. To choose something new that he would try to do (a goal).

“I will do swimming”

Now, he has been doing swimming lessons since he was 3yrs, but, has not really enjoyed them with numerous ear infections and water pressure ear problems we took a break last year. However, over Christmas he had some really fun times in a swimming pool during our summer holiday, and now he has decided he LOVES the water. So, his goal is to return to swimming with a much better attitude. (“I will be happy” – this is already working!)

I will do swimming

Of all three boys (13, 9 and 5yrs) who have made their own vision board, I am so impressed with Mr 5′s one. Not only did he choose hot pink cupcake and love heart fabric to cover the board, (and why not, he loves cupcakes!!) the discussions we had about each of the three points, were terrific. His thoughts were three or four word sentences with lovely drawings…and the concept, well, he just ‘got it’…..

Mr 5's completed Vision Board for 2012

My fourth son is just 1 year old, and I am waiting for him to indicate he wants to make a vision board….maybe that can wait until next year!!

I just want to add that the time and effort taken in making these Vision Boards with my boys (individually, with one on one time) has been the best investment I have made in them. Just try it,  I am sure your children will ‘surprise’ you too! – but please come back and let me know how it worked for them!

How could I refuse such enthusiasm?

I wasnt too sure as to how well the younger boys would manage with the concept of visualising the next 12mths, but it gave me the perfect opportunity to connect with each child quite intensely, with pure one on one time (a win-win situation!)

It was Mr 9′s turn to think about his own vision board. He chose to display his board by covering it with fabric rather than a print, or painting. He picked a fabric with words written on it – to inspire his handwriting!

Choice of fabric to inspire writing

He decided to criss-cross the string for his attachments.

The discussions we had about what to put on his Vision Board, was probably the most surprising for me. I was able to talk to my son about the things he wanted to improve, things he is good at and things he wanted to focus on for this year.

I really was very surprised with his ability to understand this concept, and although it was different to the conversations I had with my 13yr old, the thought process and outcome was just as fantastic.

He wants to improve in maths and writing, he is starting the year in a new class without his mates, so he is going to remember his qualities and skills of being a good friend, and he is going to challenge himself by partaking in a new sport….WOW…what a brilliant vision board to create!

"Try New Things" inspiration for 2012

I have great friendship qualities

Just be true to Myself

I had not anticipated this project being as meaningful as with my eldest son, but how wrong I was.

I am SO pleased I pursued his willingness to create a vision board – success has already taken place – he has just signed up for Karate classes (he starts tonight!)

I am a very PROUD mumma of these boys who continue to take opportunities to challenge their thoughts and dreams…

Vision Board 2012 in clear view for reading everyday!

**Mr 5′s Vision Board blog post coming soon**

www.happyhero.com.au

With the beginning of another high school year coming around very soon, I was looking for a positive way to help inspire my son, keeping him on track, and helping him  keep focus during times of future stress and anxiety.

So, when I read Sally Thibault’s post on her website “Wise Mothers – Raising children in the era of social media” it gave me the perfect direction for us to go in.

Sally is amazing with her ideas, knowledge and wisdom, and her website is certainly one to bookmark – with one of my four boys starting the ‘teenage’ years, I know where I will go to gather information and guidance. You can follow Wisemothers on Facebook HERE.

Last year, when my son became extremely overwhelmed with his homework,  I made him an ‘Organisational Board’ for him to clip each piece of homework on, to keep him focussed on what was urgent and not so urgent – instead of feeling like he was drowning (which had a tendency to occur daily) in ALL of the homework tasks. This worked a treat!

Homework Organiser Board

A vision board is a further extension of this and is excellent for kids (and adults!) to be constantly reminded of all the things that are important, bring happiness, joy, fun and also a reminder of goals, achievements and direction for the future.

When I mentioned the idea of making a vision board to my son, he was excited by the task, and we talked about the sorts of things he would include on his own board. The seed was planted, and over a week, we collected a range of things that he could use to make his 2012 vision board.

All the things needed to start creating

We attached string around the canvas, with the idea of using pegs to clip on pictures, messages, quotes etc..

String is stretched across the canvas

Notes, thoughts and messages to self was the theme of the vision board. For most of us there are qualities that we know about ourselves and yet we are so quick to forget them when we become overwhelmed.

Messages to attach to the vision board

Next was attaching pictures to create a visual reminder of things we value…

Pictures for the vision board

Completed 2012 Vision Board

Over a few days the vision board for 2012 was completed. It was vital that the words, focus and goals set out were created solely by my son, to ensure that he takes full ownership. I have also encouraged him to add to it throughout the year as he feels the need. The vision board is to be the first thing to be read in the morning and the last thing to be read at night. My son was very pleased with his work and so he should be – it is just great.  It is such a valuable tool, a reminder of who he is and where he wants to go.

His two younger brothers (9 and 5 yrs) were also very impressed and decided they too want to create their own vision boards. How can I not encourage this?

This project has now become bigger than I first expected, with one vision board completed, two to go! Stay tuned as I help create a vision board for my other two sons….I will add another post soon with their resulting work!

Thank you to Sally for the idea  of making a vision board – and for my son for making this project so successful!

This is a quote I hold true to my heart. For many reasons.

Have you ever been frustrated by the driver who seems to take FOREVER to drive through a car park to park their car? It used to drive me crazy, when all I wanted to do was park the car, get into the shops to complete my shopping list.  In the past, particularly when the shopping centres were busy, I couldn’t understand why it would take people so long to vacate a car park – I was always in a hurry and parking my car was just step one of my long list of things to do.

This all changed for me one particular night, when the help of a random lady, saved me.She came to my aid when I was on the verge of suffering from a major panic attack, and as I said, she saved me. I doubt she even knew how vital her help was, the impact she had on me, but I will never forget it.

When I arrived with my four children at the local shopping centre, the car park was empty. I usually park miles away in the furthest car space possible (started with a weight watchers saying “The further away you park, the more exercise you get!”) but on this night, I thought it would be quicker to park closer! How wrong I was!

With the shopping done, four kids in tow, in the dark, we left the shops. The car park was no longer empty, it was completely full! We all loaded into the car while another car sat patiently for me to vacate the parking space.

It started to rain. Upon reversing my car, I realised that it was going to be a tight spot to get out of due to the surrounding cars being parked slightly outside their lines, making it difficult for me to safely reverse. This is when my PANIC started.

I was in a small car park (in a big car – an 8 seater to be exact, commonly referred to as a bus!), in the dark, in the rain, unable to safely judge the surrounding cars’ distances, with a driver waiting for me, becoming more and more frustrated.

I completely stopped. I was unable to breathe. I was trapped. There was no escape. I couldn’t move. I was sure I was having a heart attack and my children would watch me die. Tears were silently running down my face (thank goodness it was dark). The more the waiting driver beeped their horn, the more paralysed I became. All the while trying to ‘model’ a calm response, using breathing strategies, trying not to scare my children who were immediately sensing my intense fear and panic.

I don’t know how long I sat there. Three years maybe? Probably only a minute. I wound down my window to suck in some oxygen before I passed out, when a lady asked me if she could help. Standing in the rain, this angel from heaven, guided me out of the car park, letting me know how far I could reverse safely with each turn of the steering wheel.
I made it. Thanks to this anonymous lady, who swiftly went on her way without hearing my sincere out pour of gratitude and appreciation  ’Thankyou so much’.

What did I learn from this? Apart from the fact that I need reversing sensors on my car, and the reinforcement of parking furthest away is ALWAYS the best….I learned that random acts of kindness can literally ’save‘ others, and as the now frustrated other driver stopped waiting for me, screeching off to find another car park, I realised that he/she will never know the impact that their impatience had on me.

I pride myself in my practice of random acts of kindness, but never truly understood the potential impact of my actions. I can honestly say I am now far more considerate,understanding and forgiving of other people’s actions, motives and behaviour (both good and bad) and I now never underestimate the impact my behaviour, actions and words (both good and bad) can have on others.

Kindness is best reaction. That is all.

There's a story behind every person

www.happyhero.com.au

12 Children’s book drafts in 12 months in 2012! That is one book draft every month – Crazy huh?

I have decided to sign up for this challenge.

When I start to think about writing 12 drafts in one year I feel panic creep in and I can hear all the reasons why I won’t be able to do it, why I will fail, and how I will expose myself as a fraud.

I believe that the best way to beat Mr Worrythoughts is HEAD ON….Yes, I too have a Mr Worrythoughts lingering around me at the moment….and lately he has been telling me that  my achievements with my recent books are a fluke and not deserving…isn’t he mean?

I often say that there is no such thing as a coincidence, so today, when I came across Jo Hart’s blog post about how she is joining this challenge, it was like a big red flag waving, yelling at me to “SIGN UP”.

So I did.

Look out Mr Worrythoughts – I am going to prove you wrong! I am going to write 12 children’s book drafts in 12 months during 2012. Well, this is my goal for the year anyway, so, stay tuned!

“Creativity takes courage” ~ Henri Matisse

(You too can join many other writers in this challenge here)

*12x12in’12 Badge illustrated by Linda Silvestri (isn’t it great?)

On the flip side the prospect of beginning a new year can be very daunting, scary and difficult to manage for a child, with the many changes that lay ahead.

My third son is about to begin his primary school years, and he is completely relaxed with this transition period. He is excited by the opportunities that lay ahead for him, proud to be called a ‘school boy’ and delighted with his new school uniform and ‘big boy haircut’!! (it was just another hair cut, but he associated it with becoming a school boy!)

I am also so very well aware of the stress and anxiety for some children who are completely overwhelmed by this transition. My first son was my little worrier and the step from kindergarten to primary school was a massive trigger for his anxieties.

What we must remember as parents, is that these ‘changing’ times are vital to the development of emotional resilience in our children and quite often their first reactions to dealing with this change is by copying that of their parents.

There is a level of anticipation in our house as my 5 year old experiences school transition days and as my other children wait to see who their next year’s teacher and classmates will be….this can be ‘exciting’ and also ‘terrifying’ for them at the same time. Just remember as a parent to EMBRACE the changes, model the excitement for what is yet to come…point out ALL of the positives of these changes, acknowledge the fears, but challenge the way the kids may want to think.

They will follow their parents lead every time…plan your reaction and comments to the announcements of new teacher, classes or school all with the aim of supporting your child, regardless of what you really want to say! (save this when they are out of ear shot!) Modelling disappointment, adaptions and how to just ‘get on with it’ is one of the most powerful lessons you can teach your child as these skill will be utilised many, many times in their future without them even knowing!

Think Big...

Over the past couple of years I have been approached by a range of high schools for some innovative advice to help deal with the problem of their students wearing too much make-up to school. Most schools I know have a ‘no make-up’ policy and enforce this on the students accordingly. With limited or simply no success. My suggestion was to educate rather than punish, and empower the students with choices – and I am appreciative for the opportunity to do so.

In September this year, I visited a high school on the Mornington Peninsula to present a seminar to 90 students (yr 8-9). The main aim was to leave the students with some skills and knowledge about make-up and its application. However, I could see another important issue in need of addressing – self-esteem.

Makeup is designed to highlight features and accentuate qualities, rather than focus on flaws and cover them up – a very important message for young girls starting out in the world of make-up.  I was really surprised that this concept was so foreign to the students.  My presentation began with examples of the misconception media creates as being beautiful. Today’s technology (photo-shop touch ups) allows beauty to be portrayed in ways that are not real, obtainable or realistic, something the girls seem to strive to be albeit unsuccessfully.

Thanks to DOVE for opening our eyes to this unatural portrayal of beauty

In asking the questions as to why the girls wanted to wear make-up to school, the common responses were “to hide”, “to cover up”, “to change how I look”. Unfortunately the negative self-talk about their appearance has already been ingrained at such a young age.

There is the need for a positive emotional level of teaching to be associated to make-up for young girls, including focusing on their features and learning how to highlight them. This simple shift in the language used, techniques taught and examples shown have the potential to influence a young girl in how she sees and feels about herself – thus helping create well-balanced, confident and resilient young woman.

I am hoping to be involved in more opportunities at high schools, supporting the schools and teachers who are committed to taking a pro-active approach to educating young girls not only the correct techniques and knowledge of applying make-up, but also enabling the opportunity to help celebrate their own individual differences and develop their self-esteem.

“Nicky helped us realise how important natural beauty is and taught us that life is more interesting and fun when everyone is unique.  Today, girls know that magazine photos are edited with Photoshop, but not to what extent.  Nicky demonstrated that magazine editors go to extremes to create ‘flawless’ symmetrical faces.  Nicky showed us that makeup is to highlight your good features, not hide the bad.  She gave us some good tips and techniques on how makeup should be applied and how to get the natural look.  She showed us the concealer wheel which was something new that we didn’t know about.  The session went well and we were very thankful to look deeper into makeup. Thank you to Nicky!”
Brenace and Courtney

(Image from Dove Beauty Ad Campaign) 

It is such a simple seven word sentence, yet it has the potential to divert an anxiety episode and become a ‘catastrophe stopper’ every time.

We can easily get into the ‘habit’ of thinking a certain way, responding to situations with similar reactions…thus creating a general repetitive feeling – whether it be positive or negative.

A little while ago, I could see that my four-year old was beginning to follow the script of being consistently negative and pessimistic which was becoming quite an ingrained reaction to any situation - even those that would normally bring nothing but joy.

I wanted to find something that would attract my son’s attention and introduce the power of positive thinking to him (without him knowing!) to help him change his thoughts to change his feelings…

In a timely fashion (Personally I believe that nothing is a coincidence…) I was introduced to this little ‘Bug Em Bug’ through a fabulous blog I follow. (Jade’s blog is HERE)

Bug Em is a little soft toy pouch (produced by Hallmark) to be used as an alternate to a birthday card, to hold a gift card or a lolly gift….but I could see SO much more than that!

Perfect for keeping "Happythoughts"

I decided it was the perfect ‘pouch’ to collect happythoughts. Each night, my son and I would talk about the BEST things that happened in his day and he would draw a picture on some cards to record them. Then, ‘Bug Em’ would leave him a positive note for him to read the following morning ~ to start the day on a positive note!

I couldn’t believe just how excited he was to get up in the morning, to see what Bug Em would have to say…it was brilliant! He was no longer a grumpy bum, only seeing the glass half empty…it didnt take long before he was back into the rhythm of automatically thinking happythoughts. 

I think we could all do with a little Bug Em, to remind us to ‘change our thoughts to change our feelings’

For the past 11 years my ‘real’ job has been working for RACV where I am employed along with nine other Traffic Safety Educators. I visit primary schools as an incursion teacher delivering a traffic safety education program (pedestrian, passenger and bike safety) which I have also helped develop. Many of the resources used by RACV educators have also been developed, created and produced by me – just a little ‘add on’ to my educator role!

In addition to my role as a Traffic Safety Educator, I also run my business “Happy Hero“, where I am the creator and publisher of children’s books and resource kits. I am currently working on “Happy Hero Handbooks” and further resources to be released 2012. I visit many primary and secondary schools wearing my “Author and Illustrator” hat, where I present to students the many aspects and challenges of writing, illustrating and publishing children books – inspiring the students to hang on to their dreams, never give up and to reach for the stars.

With the focus of my two children’s books based on dealing with anxiety and mental health issues, I am often asked by schools to present to their students about the topic of resilience and emotional well-being – this is especially complimentary after the “Go Away, Mr Worrythoughts!” Theatrical Production has performed…

Did I mention my involvement in the creation of a professional theatrical production? This is an initiative produced by the creative and goal driven staff of the Frankston Arts Centre. Their aim is to help support and educate primary school children focusing on positive emotional well-being through the Arts. In joining this enthusiastic driving force staff at Frankston Arts Centre, I was able to experience a connection with a very talented dramaturg (script writer), theatrical directors, as well as the brilliant and professional actors and puppeteers creating the adaptation of my first children’s book “Go Away, Mr Worrythoughts!” It is a 45 minute, entertaining and educating show with a 10 minute question/discussion time with the actors. To this day, the production has performed for over 8000 children in Victoria and the feedback has been phenomenal. Simply amazing.

The cast of Go Away, Mr Worrythoughts! production

I am also often invited to speak at seminars, conferences, workshops and support groups sharing my knowledge, experience, frustration and humour of dealing with a child suffering anxiety – raising awareness of mental health issues in young children and providing insight into variety of tools, strategies and resources to help those who deal with a ‘little worrier’.

When I look at my working life BC (Before Children) I have had a ghastly number of employers (most jobs were held the same time!) as well as rather diverse range of roles!

• hospitality
• retail
• private nanny
• school holiday care program (Special Education clients)
• juvenile justice support group – sessional program art teacher (working with ‘graffiti artists’)
• children private art class teacher
• artist, commissioned artwork sales, mural painting services
• face painter
• kids club co-coordinator (Ocean Blue Resort – QLD)
• kids activities co-coordinator – Bunnings
• primary school classroom teacher (main stream and special education settings)
• professional make-up artist – weddings, photography etc.. (this is still a current position!)

Wow…it is quite surreal to see my life’s work listed like this – almost unbelievable really! But, in looking at all my employed roles (this list doesn’t include any of my voluntary positions and writing contributions!) I see a pattern in the education of young people, with a particular focus on special needs and minority groups areas, all with the delivery method via the creative fields of the arts, literacy and performance!

I have to agree with my accountant that I AM a ‘complicated and diverse’ worker and when somebody asks me “So, what work do you do?” my reply is, “I do the hardest, most challenging and rewarding job ~ I am a mum to four boys”.

With the arrival of each child, I was very interested in seeing their development of personality type, traits, likes and dislikes.  How is it possible that each child can be SO different? I have often wondered if their family position has influenced how they have grown up.

I know I have definitely grown into the role of being a ‘mum’ more and more with each child and have become far more relaxed and resilient over the years (oh, the first child by far was my biggest learning curve!!). I remember with my first son I would wash and sterilise his dummy each time it touched the floor or some other unsterilised surface!! (Mind you I was suffering post natal depression at the time – but that is a topic for whole other post!!) By my fourth child, a quick wipe on my jeans was all that was required before giving it back (if he was lucky!)

So, has the birth order of my children impacted their personality?

My eldest son is my ‘little worrier’ and having very high expectations of himself and others, he is a perfectionist and not a risk taker. My second son is a lot more easy-going, he is a bit of a dare-devil (he becomes the guinea pig in many of the boys games and is always up for the challenge) My third son is very stubborn, very loud, and can be an angel one minute and a shocker the next! He has quick wit (even as a youngster) and really truly believes he is as old as his brothers! My fourth son (only one year in) is far more relaxed, chilled out than any of the others at this age, doing lots of things for himself, gaining confidence from his brother’s company but not relying on them…

A few years ago (I think I had just had baby number 3) I read a book by Michael Grose called “Why first borns rule the world, and last borns want to change it”. I was absolutely fascinated with what I read. Each of my boys (at that point) were described to the finest of details! There was some very interesting information about having all boys and all girls families, multiple births, only child, (which I could relate to as my family position)  single parent, blended families and other sibling combinations. A very interesting book, explaining that there are both benefits and drawbacks in each order of birth, relevant to our children and our own order placement.

Do you think the birth order of your children equates to their personalities? Is your first-born more tentative? nervous? Whilst this topic is not scientific nor set in stone I find it very fascinating and love discussing this with people I meet.

Having said all of this I am pleased my boys are all so different, imagine how boring it would be if they were all the same?

To read a blog post by Michael Gros click here